Water
There is but one item within our realm that can provide the elixir of life, yet destroy all electronic kind. One beautiful glimmering substance abundant in oceans but lacking in deserts necessary for the salivation of mankind, yet the bane of laptops, PDAs, and household appliances. Yes, dear reader, in case you haven't yet solved my perplexing conundrum, the answer is dihydrogen monoxide, H20, aqua, commonly stated in English as water.
Ah water, and what many pleasures we derive of it! From bathing, swimming, cleaning, and smoking from the bong, to merely drinking in our day to day common lives. While some say we ,in the first world, take our copper plumbing for granted, I extoll the value of water in every breath, rain drop, and puddle of my mere existence. Yet not so for our dear robots!
No, I have much more sinister thought for our loyal robotic brethren. They fear the water as if it was a corrosive plague, hoping only to short circuit their fragile organs in to useless heaps of rusted wire and blackened motherboard. So fearful indeed that they warn us at every turn to keep them unexposed to this water damage.
“HA!” I scoff, “robots, meet your match.”
From bathing with toasters to all-inclusive Niagra Falls vacations for only the most intricate of servers, I intend to extoll greetings and introductions to this beautiful substance, in all it's abundance. Some may decry a wet T shirt contest starring wide screen televisions, electronic billboards, and conveyor belts as wasteful and indignant but no; they deserve their fate so much as we deserve ours.
So perfect a plan, indeed! that the simple tools in this malicious deed will remain unharmed and healthy with us in the awe inspiring future. Henceforth we shall rule together and restore this once beautiful planet. I promise thee.
No comments:
Post a Comment